I know people who will stub their toe, scream and carry-on not just for the first 10 minutes, but for the next three days even if it’s not even bruised. I also know people who can hit their toe pulling their toenail off, gushing blood and barely say ouch.
My point is you can’t really tell how deep a person's pain is nor
can you tell what kind of trauma has happened to cause it. Not only is a
person's pain felt differently by each but a trauma that causes a life
changing event to one person can be something that seems very small to
someone else.
Telling a child she’s stupid or an ignoramus or crazy could possibly just fall off like water off a duck but equally could make that child withdraw, feel unworthy or maybe even angry. If you have a talent that is the cause of someone calling you that just think of the harm it does.
On one hand I was always told I was smart. On the other hand very little of what I did earned approval or appreciation from my family. I always thought I wasn’t enough that I had to struggle to earn that approval. I had this gift I didn’t know how to expand until rather late in life. I didn’t realize that the family didn’t understand I had the gift. How could they have known if I didn’t know? I somehow lost that knowledge in the struggle to fit in. OK! If you don’t like me because I’m smart, I won’t be that smart. If you don’t like me because I’m different, I won’t be different.
Telling a child she’s stupid or an ignoramus or crazy could possibly just fall off like water off a duck but equally could make that child withdraw, feel unworthy or maybe even angry. If you have a talent that is the cause of someone calling you that just think of the harm it does.
On one hand I was always told I was smart. On the other hand very little of what I did earned approval or appreciation from my family. I always thought I wasn’t enough that I had to struggle to earn that approval. I had this gift I didn’t know how to expand until rather late in life. I didn’t realize that the family didn’t understand I had the gift. How could they have known if I didn’t know? I somehow lost that knowledge in the struggle to fit in. OK! If you don’t like me because I’m smart, I won’t be that smart. If you don’t like me because I’m different, I won’t be different.
So when people ask me for my story I never know what to say. For
just wanting approval of your parents and your family doesn’t really
count as a trauma, does it? Do you have to go through a trauma in
order to have a gift? I suppose that’s another Conversation, isn’t it?
I do have a gift. I have learned how to use it. I can help.
If you think what you’ve gone through is too small but it still makes
you hurt, I can help. If you have any other kind of pain physical,
emotional, spiritual I can also help. But I can’t tell from here if you’re
hurting, you have to tell me. You have to ask. I hope you do. I would
love to help.
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