Tuesday, December 13, 2016

My Tree of Life

I love the winter holidays.  Oh, not the crazy commercialism, the endless religious songs, or the seriousness of Spirit that underlies the Christian holiday for me. Everyone tries so hard to be compassionate and kind especially to those who have less financial success than oneself.  They mean it.  They really do.  Someday it may actually last more than the season, too.  I hope so. But I love the connection with the earth and sky in the winter solstice.  I love that little humming thrum from the earth that is always in my spine and skull even though She seems to be asleep.  I love the brightness of the stars and moon that reveal the Otherworld to me.

I love the tree.  Not the Christmas tree but the Tree of Life - the Evergreen. 
I spend a great deal of time putting up and decorating my tree.  It’s the center of my holiday.  Over time I’ve chosen each ornament for it’s meaning to me.  Each one carefully thought about not just in the buying of it but all through the season. 

The Star, of course, is the symbol of the Light that guides me always.  Each little bird is a flight of hope and freedom. The fruits - pear, apple and pomegranate - symbolize abundance and the sweetness of life.I think they also mean sharing in the sense of sharing bread with guests.

Some of the ornaments are purely family or cultural tradition like the pickle and the oldest and plainest one that came to me from my grandparents.  They initiated me into my glass ornament passion. 
Then there’s the tarnished angels sitting in the lower branches - fallen.  They remind me that I still have many things to work upon.  I still have trouble giving up grudges and forgiving in particular.  They used to sparkle silver in the sun.  My Christian friend was so pleased that I accepted them.  I used to shine them up every year just for her.  Over the years our friendship lessened, the miles increased and the angels tarnished as silver will do.  I find I like them much better like that.  More like me.  They remind me I shine up pretty well. 

The cat ornaments are for friendship and love, for independence and freedom.  Cats have always been all those things for me and more. The ornaments remind me of all the kittens I’ve held, cuddled and found home for.  The cats give me life purpose in the times that I’ve thought I wasn’t worth anything.

That little colorful burro isn’t Mary’s ride to Bethlehem.  He symbolizes stubbornness and tenacity to keep going.  He also stands for patience.  My road has been winding turning back on itself often and very rarely clear to me.

There are quite a few Santa Claus images on the tree.  Who doesn’t love Santa?  Whether he is St. Nicolas who gives toys or Nast’s jolly elf,  how can one not enjoy him.  I can’t resist a guy in red, fur trimmed underwear with a belly that jiggles like a bowlful of jelly. 

This year a clever fox joined the crew.  He’s smart.  He thinks a lot and knows how to maneuver through all sorts of situations. 

Also this year a chubby Zen snowman mediates on one branch of my tree.  A reminder to stay mindful in the moment  and to find those parts of me that aren’t always so conspicuous in me.  Winter is a good time to go within and do that inner work that is so easy to put aside in the business of the warmer months.

The pine cone is naturally for the continuance of life.

The turtle is for endurance and strength.  You can build a whole world on the shell of the turtle, you know, according to some creation myths. 

There are bells for the joy of living  and a funny owl or two for wisdom and guidance especially now in my new home next door to the Barred Owl family.

There are places saved just for fun ornaments also.  Ones that make me laugh or remind me of a friend or two.  The ornate but empty birdcage, the nutcrackers standing so stiff and seriously,  the red rose of beauty and love.

The lights symbolize my desperate need for Light through the Solstice.  It’s so dark for so long up here in the north country.  My soul cries for it to come back,  I keep the lights on all through the season.  I can’t bear to turn them off.  But from the Solstice on the Lights become the heart of hopeful Spring resurrecting the Sun and warmth to come.  Each minute added to each day offers a little nudge to awaken and create.

For now though I’m just sitting here on the couch in the middle of the night with the kitties on my feet and lap enjoying my tree of my life.