How Do you tell someone's in pain?

I know people who will stub their toe, scream and carry-on not just for the first 10 minutes, but for the next three days even if it’s not even bruised. I also know people who can hit their toe pulling their toenail off, gushing blood and barely say ouch.

My point is you can’t really tell how deep a person's pain is nor can you tell what kind of trauma has happened to cause it. Not only is a person's pain felt differently by each but a trauma that causes a life changing event to one person can be something that seems very small to someone else. 

Telling a child she’s stupid or an ignoramus or crazy could possibly just fall off like water off a duck but equally could make that child withdraw, feel unworthy or maybe even angry. If you have a talent that is the cause of someone calling you that just think of the harm it does. 

On one hand I was always told I was smart. On the other hand very little of what I did earned approval or appreciation from my family. I always thought I wasn’t enough that I had to struggle to earn that approval.  I had this gift I didn’t know how to expand until rather late in life. I didn’t realize that the family didn’t understand I had the gift. How could they have known if I didn’t know? I somehow lost that knowledge in the struggle to fit in. OK! If you don’t like me because I’m smart, I won’t be that smart. If you don’t like me because I’m different, I won’t be different. 

So when people ask me for my story I never know what to say. For just wanting approval of your parents and your family doesn’t really count as a trauma, does it? Do you have to go through a trauma in order to have a gift? I suppose that’s another Conversation, isn’t it?

I do have a gift. I have learned how to use it. I can help. If you think what you’ve gone through is too small but it still makes you hurt, I can help. If you have any other kind of pain physical, emotional, spiritual I can also help. But I can’t tell from here if you’re hurting, you have to tell me. You have to ask. I hope you do. I would love to help.

What does a cat do when there are choices to be made?

Bast Says relax into it.  You know you have to eat. You have to sleep.  When those are taken care of you bath and take time to think.  Choices.  Play?  Nap? Plan the next hunt?  So easy.  Take opportunities when they come up. Step up.  Get it done.

That's pretty good advice.  People have to do a little more thinking.  Play? Nap? Plan?  Planning.  There's much more for humans to plan.  There are so many choices.  Which ones do I need to plan for first?  Do I have to do those simultaneously?  I'm getting carried away.  Wait.

First - take care of your own needs and any obligations you have promised to others.  Your word is important to keep.

Next - take time to play.  This is like putting money for yourself from your paycheck into a savings account first before you spend it on other things. Make time for something social and fun.

Then - those looming choices.  Taking opportunities when they arise is great advice.  Sometimes we have to start making opportunities. I take opportunities to work at expositions as often as possible.  I took the opportunity to teach classes with the local community education program but only one student signed up.  The classes were canceled.  Time to step up a bit more.  Look for other places to contact where one could hold gatherings or classes.  So many other things also need to be addressed whether you are trying to start new endeavors in your life or just live your best life.

What am I actually doing?  I am concentrating on taking care of me and doing my caregiver work as a way to avoid doing the work I truly want to do.   This is not what Bast means when she advises us to step up.  Certainly take care of yourself and perform your obligations as necessary.  But keep your eye on the hunt always.  How can you pounce on prey if you aren't concentrating and haven't planned ahead.